A New Year Resolution that will Always Work

It’s the time of the year where we begin executing our New Year Resolutions.

Planning to make a change in the new year makes sense because we all love a fresh start. CBS News estimates that 29% of Americans are likely to make a resolution this year and half of those resolutions are focused on self-improvement.

The biggest problem with New Year Resolutions is that a vast majority of people never achieve them. Statistics show that 1 out of 4 people will drop out after just one week of trying. At best, only 8% of people ever reach their goal.

So, what’s the problem?

In general, we talk more than we act. We over-commit and under-perform. It’s easy to talk about all the things we’re going to do but it’s much more difficult to do them. We underestimate the time, effort, and willpower it takes to meet our commitments. We also overestimate how easy it is to give up.

A vast majority of people never achieve their goals because they talk more than they act. Click To Tweet

How can we create a New Year Resolution that will always work?

It’s simple – under-commit and over-perform.

  1. Set realistic goals. Be brutally honest about the effort it will take. Don’t be afraid to set easier goals in the beginning, especially if you are going to be making a big change.
  2. Fully commit. Once those goals are in place, fully commit to achieving those goals. Make a promise to yourself that you intend to keep.
  3. Just do it. Take daily action to meet your goal.

It sounds easy but let’s be honest, there’s a limit to effort and willpower. Shear will, determination, effort, and willpower will only get you so far. To make a real change to your lifestyle, you need to develop habits and patterns.

To make a real change to your lifestyle, you need to develop habits and patterns. Click To Tweet

You need to create daily activities and routines that make it easy for you to meet your goals.

Let me give you an example. Say you commit to drinking less soda and more water. Depending on effort and willpower alone to make the right decision every time you go out to eat is difficult. You must rely on willpower several times a day.

An easier way would be to always carry a water bottle with you and only drink from it throughout the day. This is a simple routine that, over time, will become a habit.

The other thing to consider is that you are going to fail. You’re going to slip up. You’re going to cheat. You’re going to go back to your old habits. This is where most people give up.

The simple trick to not giving up is to remember Step 3 above, just do it. If you fail one day or even one week, don’t worry or beat yourself up. Start fresh the next day and just keep going. Don’t wait another year before you start again. Remember the promise you made to yourself.

To create a New Year Resolution that will always work, be a person of action not just a person of words.

Become part of the 8% of successful people that achieve their goals.

 

If you liked this post, you’ll love my new book, All in the Same Boat: Lead Your Organization Like a Nuclear Submariner.

You can find it HERE or on Amazon.

[Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash]

Why We All Need Friends at Work

Do you have a best friend at work? It might just be the secret to happiness and success.

My son joined the Navy last year, and this Thanksgiving, he didn’t have enough leave to come home. So, we traveled up to see him for the holiday as a family.

We stayed in a hotel and ate our Thanksgiving meal at a local restaurant.

It wasn’t ideal, but at least we were together.

On Saturday, we were all invited to a party. One of my son’s shipmates also had family in town. His family had rented an entire house for the holiday and invited a dozen sailors from the base for drinks and a traditional Cuban meal.

That night was the first time I saw my son interacting with his closest Navy buddies.

The laughter, jokes, smiles, and friendship were all very familiar. I recognized them from my own time in the Navy.

Seeing my son surrounded by friends that loved him and loved being around him made me extremely happy as a father.

It was the first time since he left for the Navy that I knew he had found his place.

He belonged to a special group, and I knew he would be successful in his Navy career.

I knew it because I could see his deep friendships.

There is an African Proverb that says, “if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Having friends at work is a powerful indicator of happiness and success.

Having friends at work is a powerful indicator of happiness and success. Click To Tweet

How do I know? It certainly has been the case throughout my career and it was also one of the findings in my favorite leadership book.

First, Break All the Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently was written by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman. Buckingham and Coffman were Gallup analysts when they wrote this book. They drew upon 25 years of Gallup studies of 80,000 managers across 400 companies.

One of their conclusions was that solid personal relationships signify a positive workplace.

Solid personal relationships signify a positive workplace. Click To Tweet

Employees who could identify that they had close friends at work were more likely to be happy and successful in their careers.

The reasons are pretty straightforward.

When things are going great, you have friends to celebrate the moments.

In the tough times, friends will be there to help you get through.

Close friends watch out for you and have your back to ensure no one can come after you.

They support your crazy ideas and help make them a reality.

They are a shoulder to cry on and a hand to high five when you hit your goals.

Why do we need friends at work? Having close friends at work leads to happiness and success.

As leaders, we need to foster an atmosphere where friendships can form and thrive. It’s both good for employees and the overall performance of the business.

Leading like you are all in the same boat is a good place to start. Learn more in my new leadership book.

[US Navy Photo]

Should I Stay or Should I Go? What do you do when you disagree with management?

As a leadership speaker and author, I get this type of question a lot.

I work in a company with poor management. Employees are frustrated and apathy is widespread. Should I confront management about this or just look for another job?

The real question is: When do I know if I should stay at my current job or look for a new one?

I began to think about this after someone else recently contacted me for advice.  He works for a local government department and has had a long, successful career.  Lately though, he has been frustrated the top-down approach of everyone in management.

His question was simple; do I question leadership or do I just stay quiet?

The problem with questioning authority is obvious.  You might get cross-threaded with management which could lead to termination or getting passed over for future promotions. Staying silent, however, can lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, disillusionment, and disengagement.  This, of course, can also lead to termination or getting passed over for promotions.

I imagine a lot of people find themselves in this situation.  If I look back on my career, I can recall times when I strongly disagreed with a management decision but kept my mouth shut to preserve my job and my advancement prospects.  It was very frustrating and my ability to lead others suffered because of it.

“Next generation leaders are those who would rather challenge what needs to change and pay the price than remain silent and die on the inside.” ~Andy Stanley

Andy Stanley’s quote from his book, Next Generation Leader: 5 Essentials for Those Who Will Shape the Future, was the basis of my advice for my friend.  Remaining silent and dying on the inside is no way to live your life.  It’s probably time for him to talk to his boss and voice his concerns but it needs to be done in a respectful manner.

“Question authority; but, raise your hand first.” ~ Alan M. Dershowitz

 If you find yourself in this situation, it’s fair to question leadership, but do it in a way that is private, respectful, and considerate.  You may find their explanations make sense or they decide to make changes based on your feedback.  In this case, you have resolved the conflict in a respectful manner and can go back to enjoying your job.

If, however, you find they don’t appreciate being questioned or their answers don’t make sense, it may be time to start looking for another job.  And that’s OK too.  It’s better to fully understand your situation and know it’s time to go than stay at a job where you will be unhappy and dissatisfied. Plus, it’s always easier to find a job while you still have one.

Consider the words of Andy Stanley and don’t remain silent.  It’s acceptable to question leadership, but do it in a way that is private, respectful, and considerate.  Their answers will make it very clear what you should do next.

Pre-order my new book All in the Same Boat: Lead Your Organization Like a Nuclear Submariner.